Are you wondering if it’s time for a break up? If you’re starting to think about whether you should end your relationship or not, one thing is for sure: something’s not right.
It could be a case of you not communicating your needs,or needing to understand more about your partner. It could also be about your own limiting beliefs, and that means you’ve got some work to do on yourself.
But it can also mean that you are dating or are in a relationship with someone who is not right for you, or that something bigger is at play.
If you’re not sure whether it’s time to call it quits, consider the following before you make a decision:
1. Abuse and violence
Verbal, physical, emotional, financial—any form of abuse and violence is a reason to end a relationship immediately. There is NEVER a good reason for abuse, and you don’t have to tolerate it. Whether it’s happened or it’s been threatened, this is a relationship you need to end. You deserve better no matter what.
2. You’re not yourself
Most women will work hard to make a relationship successful, and sometimes that means changing who you are in order to create that success. If that’s what you’re doing and you’re the only one making changes, you might notice that you’re no longer being true to who you are.
When that happens, something’s not right. You should be able to keep your own vision and be with a man who supports that vision and works alongside you. That doesn’t mean it’s your way or the highway, but it does mean that you shouldn’t have to abandon who you are and what you want in order to be in a relationship. You should be able to feel like yourself and be with someone who loves that.
3. Your partner has issues
Everyone has issues! But when your partner shows signs of anger issues or emotional problems, you need to decide if that’s something you want to work through. If you’ve mentioned it and he doesn’t acknowledge there’s a problem or doesn’t desire to do the work to make things better, that’s a red flag.
4. Bad communication
Effective communication is one of the keys to keeping a relationship successful. Bad communication can ruin a relationship. If you feel like you can’t talk to your partner, or he has no interest in having a conversation with you or listening when you have something you want to express, you might have a problem maintaining a long-term relationship this way. While a lot of guys find it difficult to talk about certain things, and communication styles can be different, a refusal to communicate or improve communication is not a good sign.
5. Your friends are talking
Sometimes your friends will notice something before you do because you’re too close to the situation. If your friends are speaking up, you should listen to what they have to say. It’s normal to feel like you should defend your guy, but it’s important that you listen with an open mind and really think about what your friends are saying.
6. He’s in a different world
If your partner is constantly living in the past, or saying he’ll do something and never following through, or it seems that what he wants and what you want are in two different directions, then he’s probably not in alignment with you. If he’s living in a different world, then it’s going to be difficult to form a future with him. And if you want a committed relationship, you’ll need to carefully consider whether that’s something he’s showing you he wants as well.
7. When it’s the same issue over and over again
If you’re bringing up the same issue over and over again and there’s no interest in finding a solution or doing the work to make improvements, you’re looking at a future of living with this. Nagging him isn’t going to make either of you feel better, and his lack of desire to change means he’s not interested in committing to making the relationship a success. You can’t have a good relationship by yourself; if you’ve made efforts to work on the issue and he’s not into it, you’ve got to decide if that’s something you want to deal with long term.
8. When he violates your values
If you’ve established what’s important to you in a relationship and he violates those values, you need to address this immediately. If you can’t forgive him and work through the issue and move on together, then you need to consider ending the relationship. Staying angry or trying to “get even” is no way to strengthen your commitment. If you can’t forgive and move on, that’s okay; that’s a decision you have to make. And if not, then the relationship will not be able to grow, and it’s best to end it where it is.
The decision of whether to breakup or not is yours—and if you’re being honest with yourself, you will be able to determine what has the potential to lead to the future you want and deserve… and what does not. Going through a break up is never easy, but staying in a relationship that doesn’t enrich your life isn’t worth staying in just because breaking up is difficult and inconvenient.
Ask yourself what you want to feel and experience from a relationship. Once you know what that is, you’ll be able to determine whether the relationship you’re in is right for you.
It’s up to you to put yourself in a situation that favors self-respect and self-worth and to ensure that you are creating a partnership that you deserve and desire. You are worth it!
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To your dating success!
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