Want to Step Out of the Online Dating Box? Here’s How

May 25, 2017 | by: Raeeka

Let’s face it – if you want to date in the 21st Century, online dating is part of your life. Love it or hate it, using online apps can be a gateway to discovering quality men who could be right around the corner who you’d never know otherwise!

But dating apps can also be an excuse to escape truly investing in your dating life. So even if dating apps are working for you, sometimes it’s good to shake it up by actually getting out in the world and seeing what’s available.

If you want to be successful at dating, you’ve got to put yourself out there. It can be tough if that hasn’t always led to good experiences, but it’s typical that we have to work at things that are worth having. And the love life you desire, on your terms, that is compatible with your lifestyle and success is certainly one those things!

So let’s look at some ways you can step out of the comfort zone of “swiping” and into what could be just the thing to find that quality man you’ve been waiting for:

1) Go out and make eye contact

Sounds easy, right? And it is – but when’s the last time you just practiced connecting with guys through eye contact? I’m not talking about a few guys – make an outing of it. Go to a park or a coffee shop or any place where you know you’re likely to cross paths with a lot of men and try it out. See what happens when you make eye contact and smile – what kinds of responses do you get? You never know when something so simple as this could lead to opening a conversation.

2)  Open up a conversation yourself

Most women assume that it’s easy for a guy to approach a woman when he’s interested – if he wants to get to know her, he’ll come up and start a conversation, right? Well that’s actually just as difficult for many guys as it is for many women. So don’t assume a guy isn’t interested if he doesn’t say anything – he may just be shy or afraid of saying something that might not wow you. One of the ways you can try this out is by asking a guy a question based on where you are. If you’re in a coffee shop, you can say something like “I am looking to try something new, what is your favorite drink?” Or “I am new to this coffee shop, what do you suggest?” Finding ways to open a conversation is not only a great way to meet someone, it’s great practice for 1:1 communication. And if it doesn’t go so well, just walk away and try again with someone new! 🙂

3) Go out on your own

I know…things are more comfy when your girlfriends are there to save you from any potential “disaster.” But sometimes guys can be slow to approach if you’re in a group of women. Guys can get really intimidated too, and he might have more confidence to start a conversation if you’re by yourself. Knowing that you can do it alone can also build your confidence. Hanging out with your friends is important, but it’s also important that you don’t need them in order to get out and explore.

There are lots of creative ways you can meet great guys offline, and looking for places that match the characteristics of a man who might be interesting to you is a good way to decide where to look: you could try a meetup, or something like a language class or a cooking class, networking events, happy hours near corporate locations, group sporting outings…don’t be afraid to do some searching and try some things out! Click here to learn all these different ways you can meet a quality man offline.

4) Tell people what you want

If you want to find a great guy, tell people what you’re looking for! Let them know you are intentional about finding a great guy, and maybe even tell them some of the qualities that are important to you in a man. You never know who might know someone in another circle who’s also looking for someone amazing.

5) Let your guard down

If you want to find a quality man, you’ve got to be willing to be vulnerable. This doesn’t mean that you play yourself down or act like someone you’re not – it means you relax and allow a guy to see the real you. When you’ve worked hard to create a life you love, it can be challenging to let someone into that. After all, you don’t want to give up who you are or the success you’ve created! Being vulnerable is about having both; it’s allowing someone to do nice things for you and get to know who you are without sacrificing the other aspects of your life.

So are you ready to give these a try? Sometimes getting what you want takes a little extra effort in unexpected ways, and stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new (or something you haven’t tried in a while) might spark a connection and move you toward the love life you truly deserve!


As always, I wanna hear from you. I wanna know the biggest insight you’re taking away from this blog. Leave a comment below. And if you enjoyed this blog, join Dating with Confidence’s FREE and PRIVATE Facebook group, “Dating Tips For Savvy Single Ladies,” where you can have more personal interaction with me and get support around your love life. And share this blog with your friends.

To your dating success!

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