Are you ready to start dating again?
Well, let me first congratulate you for being ready to dip your toes back in the dating pool and take a stand for what your heart desires: real, honest, true love with a committed, amazing, relationship-ready man.
And you know what? YOU deserve all of that and more!
Of course being a love coach, I believe with all my heart that having the love and friendship of the right long-term partner significantly benefits one’s life – and it’s even been scientifically proven. So I’m all for you getting back in the dating scene and not giving up or compromising what your heart really wants. And, I’m here to champion you and support you doing this with confidence, grace, and let’s not forget – having fun!
First let’s state the obvious, the pink elephant in the room: getting back into the dating scene after taking a break, even if it’s for a short time, can seem like a challenging task.
It’s so natural to feel things like What if I fail again, make the same mistakes again, get trapped in the wrong relationship again, or What if I never find love and my time has passed? In addition, you might be concerned that dating trends and protocols have changed since you last dated. All in all, the fears and doubts coming up around getting back into the dating scene can make dating seem challenging, and even intimidating.
But it doesn’t have to be! Here are 8 steps to walk you back into the dating scene, building that confidence and grace. And read to the end, because you get to create your supporting community instantly right here, right now! 🙂
1- Make peace with your past
Forgiving the past doesn’t mean you are denying your experiences, it means you’re at peace with it. This is the first step you need to take before you get back in the dating scene. No guy wants to date your past or be compared to it – bringing your fear or anger from past relationships into your new dating process is a recipe for failure! There’s no way you can be open and present if you’re hanging on to the past. You’re not ready to get back into dating if you haven’t decided to forgive 100%, so if you haven’t done this step, I strongly suggest you do whatever it takes to clear the energy and set the right foundation for dating success.
2- Know yourself
Make sure you’ve taken the time to really know who you are – I mean really examining what your values are and what you stand for in your life. You need to know what you want to create in life and what the legacy is that you want to leave behind.
Decide what your non-negotiables are when it comes to being in a relationship, as well as what your boundaries are. Knowing yourself is key to staying true to yourself in your next relationship and dating process. This gives you a much greater chance of knowing whether a guy is a potential match for being your partner in life.
3- Treat yourself like your best friend
Before you go out in the dating world, you wanna make sure you have a healthy dose of self-compassion and self-love for yourself, and that self-care is a priority. I don’t mean taking yourself out to a mani-pedi and buying yourself flowers or being snobbish and unreasonable if something isn’t done your way – I mean loving and accepting yourself: both your amazing qualities and your limitations. Be kind to yourself and appreciate yourself like you would your best friend. For example, admire your own courage for working on yourself, for making peace with the past and for getting back in the dating scene and being vulnerable again. These are all amazing and strong qualities. Make sure you take the time to acknowledge yourself and your strengths.
4- Master your dating skills
Let’s be real – if you’ve had bad experiences in the past, that doesn’t mean you don’t have what it takes to find love. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions that men are bad by nature, or that good men are impossible to find, or any sort of other belief we develop because we didn’t know how to find and attract the right type of man. It’s super important that you take responsibility for the part you’ve played in your previous relationships and, most importantly, to be honest with yourself and own what you don’t know. The successes you’ve created in your life now are due to you taking the time to educate yourself and learning how to create success. The same formula applies to dating! Master your dating skills. You can start right here by navigating through the Dating with Confidence website – you can instantly get a ton of free and effective information around dating and creating the love life you desire.
5- Stop fantasizing and start living in the reality of finding love
Dating is a numbers game and a journey, meaning you gotta put yourself out there and meet men! Don’t fall into common dating traps like “The first man I date will be the one,” or “I’m looking for love at first site,” or “It’s my way or the highway – if they don’t like me they can leave” kinds of expectations. Dating is a process. So keep going out and learning about the men you are dating to see if they are a match or not. If you want to play hard to get or test men to prove they’re worthy of you, you’re setting yourself up for failure. There’s a difference between choosing the right match and being picky (and high maintenance).
6- Go slow
There’s no rush – take your time. Be kind to yourself, and go at your own speed (or slower if your regular speed is fast). Rome wasn’t built in a day! Your love life also won’t be built in a glance and one date. And believe me…even if you think that sounds good, you don’t want that. You want to get to know the men you’re dating and mindfully choose if they’re a match for you or not. And the truth about dating is, it takes time to know if a man matches your non-negotiables. So while you’re dating and creating your love life mindfully, make time to still enjoy the other aspects of your life while you’re creating the love life you want. It’s difficult to take your time if your whole life is revolving around your dating.
7- Designate your support team
Surround yourself with positivity! This is a very important step. You wanna be around people who support you in your new approach to dating and finding love. Stay far away from those who approve of your limiting beliefs and negative perspectives around dating, men, relationships, and love. There are plenty of women’s empowerment groups you can join. In fact, you can join my private Facebook group right this moment for free: Dating Tips For Savvy Single Ladies gives you additional support from me, and you will be surrounded by hundreds of other like-minded women who are on their journey to find love.
8- Have Fun
Finding love is a journey, and it should be fun! Here’s a tip to help you have fun while you explore your options in “man land” and choose who’s to be your Mr. Right: be curious, Lady! When you’re out on dates, what are you learning about yourself? What do you want to experience? And who do you need to be to create that dating experience? The more you go into dating taking all the steps mentioned above, the more you get to be the C.E.O. of your love life – you know, the Chief Experience Officer – YOU get to choose your experiences! That way, no guy can do you wrong and no date is wasted. Every date is giving you more and more information about who you want to be with, who you are, and what you like and don’t like.
As always, I wanna hear from you. I wanna know the biggest insight you’re taking away from this blog. Leave a comment below. And if you enjoyed this blog, join Dating with Confidence’s FREE and PRIVATE Facebook group, “Dating Tips For Savvy Single Ladies,” where you can have more personal interaction with me and get support around your love life. And share this blog with your friends.
To your dating success!
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