Whether you are on board with it or not, online dating is increasingly becoming THE way for people to meet each other—and there are thousands and thousands of examples of couples finding true love through online dating to back that up. I found the love of my life on OKCupid, and many of my clients have found true love through this medium using sites such as Bumble, Match and Plenty of Fish.
Research shows you have 3-5 seconds to capture a man’s attention in today’s online dating world—and your photo is the FIRST thing he will be looking at. And let’s be honest (and not have double standards): women do the exact same thing. Most of us check the image first, even if we do it unconsciously. And then… if we like it… we open and read the profile.
If you are a smart and successful woman like the ladies I work with, of course you don’t want to change yourself for a man, or cake on the cosmetics if that’s not your style, or (heaven forbid) post a half-dozen photos of yourself making that weird “duck lips” face that’s plastered all over social media. But you DO wanna put your best foot – and face – forward.
It all boils down to making sure that your best look represents the amazing, irresistible woman you are on the inside. With that in mind, here are six smart tips to grab a guy’s eye and get him to swipe right.
1- Have a killer profile photo
This is super important because it is, quite literally, the first thing he’ll see when he is swiping. Don’t upload an iPhone photo with bad lighting because it won’t really show YOU. Instead, invest in hiring a professional photographer to take a few glam-casual, fun, and flirty photos of you.
And if you are on a budget, no worries! Go to groupon.com, where you can often find discounted deals from photographers. Make sure you tell the photographer what the shoot is for, show him some examples that you have gathered online that you like, and ask for angles and poses that show your eyes and spectacular smile in the profile photos.
2- Only use photos of you
Don’t include your girlfriends or guy friends – or even your cousin or mom – in the photos. Think about it: when you are on a blind date or at a party talking with a man who is interested in you, you don’t include your friends or family with you in that interaction. Your online photos fulfill the same function.
What’s more, when you have another guy in the photo, it will make the men who are viewing it wonder who the guy is; and if you have a photo of your girlfriend in there, well… you just divided his attention between you and her!
This profile is all about YOU. Once he knows you, he’ll start meeting your bestie, family and friends. (Now, if you wanna use photos of you and your dog or cat or horse, that’s totally fine because it shows your passion and interests.)
3- Use your recent photos
This is super important. No matter your age – whether you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s or beyond – take pride in who you are and where you are in your life by sharing your current photos. This is so important for many reasons; but first and foremost, it’s so that when you show up on the date, he recognizes you!
And if you do end up meeting in person, he’ll know exactly who he’s looking for in the crowd. You don’t want him to disappoint you by looking a lot different in person than in your photos, and I am a big believer in dating karma. (If I’ve heard it once from my clients, I’ve heard it 100 times: “His profile said he was 6’1”, but there was no way he was taller than 5’10”!”) So go with that Golden Rule pick pictures that really reflect what you look like today, not ten years ago. Be the open, honest person you want to attract in your life.
4- Share some activity photos but…
Share photos of your favorite activities such as kayaking or hiking or dancing, etc. However, make sure your photos focus more on you and less on the scenery. If you have one photo of you taking up less space in the photo and the attention is on the action, that’s fine. Let’s say you are diving and you want to share that cool shot. That one photo is fine, but keep it at one and no more. The rest of the activity shots need to focus more on you. So if you’re an amusement park enthusiast, make sure that picture of you at Coney Island is a close-up of you enjoying a corn dog or funnel cake and not you as a small speck in front of the famous ferris wheel.
5- Photo quality is EVERYTHING
Time and again I see beautiful women sharing photos that are low quality. Whether it’s bad lighting, blurriness, or subpar composition, you won’t do yourself any favors with a less-than-stellar picture. Make sure you stick with sharing photos that are of good quality. Again, this man knows nothing about you, so your photos and eventually your profile content are all he has to assess whether or not to contact you (or for example, if you are on Bumble, to like you or not).
6- Keep the selfies to the minimum
Simply put, because he doesn’t know you, having a bunch of selfies might make a guy think you don’t have friends to take photos of you. (Remember, selfies aren’t the same thing as photos of you and you only. If you took the picture yourself, it’s a selfie.) And if that’s his assumption, he’s not going to going to click forward to find out you have a rich social life and a strong group of family and friends from your written profile.
As always, I wanna hear from you. I wanna know the biggest insight you’re taking away from this blog. Leave a comment below. And if you enjoyed this blog, join Dating with Confidence’s FREE and PRIVATE Facebook group, “Dating Tips for Savvy Single Ladies,” where you can have more personal interaction with me and get support around your love life. And share this blog with your friends.
To your dating success!
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