Are you wondering how to jumpstart your dating mojo when you’ve been through a breakup or a divorce? Let’s talk about ways to know if the time is right.
When you’ve been through a difficult breakup or divorce, it’s so important that you take the time to grieve and heal. Doing the self work during this time will allow you to come back to dating from a place of positivity, without any past baggage. And if you want a chance at building the love life you truly desire, you need to prepare.
Preparing yourself to enter the dating world in the right way is SO important. Just think about a professional singer, preparing for the performance of her life at Carnegie Hall. Do you think she just wakes up on opening night and wings it, hoping for the best? Of course not! She practices, hones her craft and makes sure she’s 100% prepared before she sets foot on that stage.
It’s no different for approaching dating again – if you practice, prepare, and work on yourself, you can avoid the same mistakes that happened in the past so you can love and be loved in return.
It starts with learning how to view your breakup or divorce itself as an experience – not a mistake – and by evaluating what you want to do differently the next time around.
Below are different ways you can tell if you’re truly ready to start dating again. If you still need to work on ANY of them, I encourage you to spend a bit more time healing and investing in this preparation.
1. You’re done blaming.
You are 100% done pointing fingers at your ex and blaming him for the breakup. You’ve taken responsibility for any part you may have had in the separation, you’ve forgiven your ex and you’re ready to move on. You understand that the relationship didn’t work out because ultimately the two of you weren’t compatible – not because there’s something inherently wrong with either of you.
2. You don’t feel powerless
You’ve accepted that you’re not powerless and at the mercy of others or external circumstances. You know you’re a powerful, smart, successful woman. And if you don’t like something you can either accept it, change it or move on – but you are not now, nor will you ever be – a victim.
3. You believe you deserve to be loved
You don’t believe that you’re unlovable. You know you bring something really special to the table and that you have your own values and assets. You know you don’t need others’ approval in order to be of value.
4. You believe that you can still find love
You know that your ex was not the only one for you, and you believe that there are other men who will love you for you. It’s just a matter of finding one who’s a great match!
5. You’re happy with your life as a single woman
You’re completely at peace without your ex and with the life you have now as a single woman. You feel stable and happy regardless of whether or not you have a man, because the main source of happiness is within you.
6. You accept and embrace yourself
You’ve done the self-empowerment work and you know what you want out of life and what you need to do to make it happen. You know who you are, what you want, and what does and doesn’t work for you. You accept the fact that you must know yourself before you can share your life with someone else, and you prioritize taking care of your mind, body, and spirit.
So are you ready? Or do you need a little more time? Either way is ok – it’s knowing what you need to do in order to be prepared and then doing that work that gives you a much better chance at finding success when you enter the dating world again. And once you’ve done this work, you’ll be dating with confidence sooner than you think! I always tell my clients: “The slower you go, the faster you will get there.”
As always, I wanna hear from you. I wanna know the biggest insight you’re taking away from this blog. Leave a comment below. And if you enjoyed this blog, join Dating with Confidence’s FREE and PRIVATE Facebook group, “Dating Tips For Savvy Single Ladies,” where you can have more personal interaction with me and get support around your love life. And share this blog with your friends.
To your dating success!
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