Are you single? Deep down, when you really examine your deepest desires, are attracting quality guys and finding real love with a loyal and committed man important to you? Now here’s another one: Are you actively dating? If the answer is “no” then read on. I am about to help you understand what’s really going on, and help you change your situation so you can get back to creating your vision for your ideal love life with that loyal and committed man.
After years of unsuccessful dating, bad relationships, choosing the wrong men over and over again, and ending up disappointed, it’s totally understandable that many women suffer from “dating burnout!” They give every excuse in the book about why it’s the “logical” thing for them to remain alone and stay in their comfort zone, but this “dating rut” is really holding them back from creating the life they truly want!
Here’s what Dating Burnout looks like, and here’s what you can do to change it now:
- “I don’t have time to date! I’m far too busy with my career, my life, my kids etc. There is just so much to do and I don’t have time to meet anyone!”
Yes, life is busy, but how many hours this week did you spend on Facebook or binge-watching Netflix? The truth is not that you don’t have time; the truth is that when women have had more negative experiences with dating than positive ones, and they have encountered too many men who are not relationship-worthy, it’s hard for them to think of dating as anything other than a chore and a waste of time. They can only associate dating with more disappointment and more hurt. The truth is that deep down you don’t believe you will find your quality man. It’s very understandable that you would translate that into “I don’t have time and I am too busy to date.”
- “I’ve worked so hard to get where I am and I don’t want anyone to change it! I love my freedom!”
Independence is a wonderful thing and quite sexy! If we are lucky enough to have a career and a network of friends that we love, we are fortunate indeed. However, it IS possible to have it all, and you deserve it! Having a full life does NOT mean that you don’t have room to share it with someone else. Women who use this excuse often come from a place of self-protection and self preservation, and they may have been deeply hurt in their past relationships. You may have had experiences with needy and possessive men in the past who monopolized your time, and they may have even been jealous of your career and your relationships with friends. You may have had experiences with non-committal men who gave you hope of a life together, who suddenly vanished when it came time to get serious! The truth is you don’t trust that you can find a quality man, so you’ve built up a wall to protect yourself from letting the mistakes of the past happen again. While that seems like a smart and logical thing to do, in reality you are letting your past sabotage your dream of having a healthy, happy, and committed relationship with a trustworthy and quality man.
- “I am not meant to be in a relationship. I’ve tried it, it doesn’t work. I have great friends and a great career! I’m totally fine this way.”
No one is meant to be alone and be OK with it. It’s completely against our nature as humans. It’s like saying, “I am totally OK without good nutrients for my body.” To love and be loved is our right as humans and it, too, is an important nutrient for our minds, bodies and souls. More often than not, women who give this excuse have spent years chronically attracting the wrong types of men, the ones that are their biggest fear. They attract the cheaters and the players; the vanishers and the abandoners. It’s so understandable that they would give up on dating, retreat from going after their deepest desire to love and be loved, and pretend that they are OK with it. The truth is that you just don’t want to be hurt again.
The good news is that you are not alone. Yours truly was totally suffering from “dating burnout” for years after being mistreated in a long-term relationship! In my years of practice as a dating coach, I can’t begin to tell you how many quality single women answer the same way you did.
Here’s the truth: Everyone deserves to have love in their lives! Across the board, I find that women who have written off dating completely, suffer from the “Broken Picker” syndrome. This means that they chronically pick the wrong men!
Here is the deal: we didn’t learn about these things while going to school. There was never a class where we learned the tools and skills for dating successfully. However, once you educate yourself, learn to recognize these tendencies, and take steps to change them, you will start having fun dating and you will start attracting quality men!
Here are some steps to change your “dating burnout” right now so you can learn how to find and attract quality guys
1- COMMIT TO YOUR VISION OF LOVE AND LEARN HOW TO DATE SUCCESSFULLY.
Everything worth having requires you to put your best foot forward, commit, and invest. Let me be frank: If you want a quality man who commits to you, you’ve got to commit to your vision of love before anything else. You need to learn how to date successfully and commit to not giving up, no matter what happens. Just because you’ve failed before (because you didn’t know how to succeed), does not mean that you are meant to be alone or that you are better off without love.
2- USE YOUR POWER OF CHOICE AND DON’T MAKE YOUR DECISIONS BASED ON FEAR.
Check in and make sure you are not going into dating from a place of fear. You have worked really hard to have the life you have today, and the thought of changing that, or the thought of someone messing it up or taking that away from you is definitely not something you want to carry with you into your dating. Why would any quality guy change your life anyway? The way it works with quality guys is that they want to enhance your already awesome life and support you in it!
3- LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST.
Don’t let the men who hurt you or the relationships that failed dictate your dating life now, or dictate your future with a lovely man. The right man who is worthy of a relationship with you is out there! You will only find him if you remain open to the possibilities of love, instead of focusing on all the negative things that are wrong with dating or with men in general which makes you come across as unavailable.
4- SOLVE THE PICKER PROBLEM.
Learn about the different types of men, their characteristics, and what steps to take in dating them. This way, you can start attracting and staying with the quality ones, and eventually find your man. Click here to get my FREE TRAINING: The “Broken Picker” Solution – Stop Dating The Wrong Men. It will cost you absolutely nothing and you will gain all that juicy information that our schooling never provided you about your love life!
As always, I wanna hear from you. I wanna know the biggest insight you’re taking away from this blog. Leave a comment below. And if you enjoyed this blog, join Dating with Confidence’s FREE and PRIVATE Facebook group, “Dating Tips For Savvy Single Ladies,” where you can have more personal interaction with me and get support around your love life. And share this blog with your friends.
To your dating success!
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