Women ask me all the time, “Raeeka – what’s the secret to dating success?” Well, it’s not a secret, but here’s a blueprint to get you started. I’ve laid out the first five steps you’ll need to get your love life going in the right direction so you can find the man your heart desires!
How to Get a Love Life – 5 Easy Steps
1. Take inventory
You need to know what your blind spots are when it comes to dating – what mistakes are you possibly making that you aren’t even aware of? Here are some examples of things you might be doing:
Comparing Yourself to Others
Limiting Your Beliefs
Being a “Yes” Person
Needing to be Right
Assigning Everything to Black or White – No Grey Area
Giving without Setting Boundaries
Saying You’re Available When You’re Stuck in the Past
Having Unrealistic Expectations
These and so many more things keep women from really being able to invest fully in dating successfully, and that can keep you from being able to have a great relationship. If you want to have the love life you desire, doing some self work is part of this journey.
2. Put the Past in the Past
Almost everyone has a relationship story from the past that hangs in their minds, if not many…Draw a line, step over it, and be done with the past. You can learn from it but you can’t live in it, and bringing it with you into a new relationship never helps. Bringing the past along doesn’t protect you, and really it’s just going to keep you from being available and getting a fresh start. Forgive any past relationships, forgive yourself and have compassion for your mistakes too, and move into the future without hanging on to something that doesn’t exist anymore. You really can’t grow a new relationship until you do this. It’s not about forgetting the past, it’s about not letting it take your energy.
3. Get an Image of Your Love Life
What is it that you truly want to have when it comes to love – do you really know? Have you taken the time to think about what qualities are important for you to EXPERIENCE in a relationship? I’m not talking about the external things like looks or how tall he is or what he wears, or what he does for a living – I’m talking about his personality traits and what he is like as a person. This is what builds a sustainable relationship, and you need to spend some time on this before you can identify if a guy has the qualities that are going to make you happy in the long run.
4. Learn the art of feminine communication
There’s an art to talking to quality men, and you’ve got to learn how to communicate with them. You need to be a good listener. A man who really wants to get to know you will also value being heard, and you not only need to know when to talk and when to listen, but what to listen for. You also need to be able to state your needs. If your needs aren’t being met, that’s on you – you have to take responsibility for this and not expect him to read you mind. He can’t know what you need if you don’t know how to communicate that clearly. And you have to come from a place of building something. At the end of the day, relationships are about communication, and that’s what will make it last. Invest in a program/coach/book – something to learn how to talk to quality guys. This is a huge part of creating the love life you want.
5. Get going with dating!
There’s a good chance a quality, relationship-ready guy isn’t going to fall into your lap – you’ve got to get out there and meet him! Start by making sure you have a good quality photo for an online profile. This is a big deal for men and women – guys don’t want to see pictures of your pets or your friends any more than you want to see pictures of him wearing sunglasses or hanging out with his buddies…learn how to create a high quality online profile for no more than two dating sites. Sign up for meet ups and interest groups where a guy who would align with your values might also show up. Look for events where your ideal man would also go – retreats, seminars, adventure sports, etc. – increase your chances of meeting Mr. Right rather than waiting for him to show up only in the places you already go.
If you’re serious about creating your love life this year, these five steps will get you headed in the right direction. Start at the top and work your way to Number 5 – all of the work before that won’t make a difference if you don’t get out there and make it happen!
As always, I wanna hear from you. I wanna know the biggest insight you’re taking away from this blog. Leave a comment below. And if you enjoyed this blog, join Dating with Confidence’s FREE and PRIVATE Facebook group, “Dating Tips For Savvy Single Ladies,” where you can have more personal interaction with me and get support around your love life. And share this blog with your friends.
To your dating success!
Get Quality Dating and Relationship Advice
Sign up here and get access to all of my
FREE TIPS, SCRIPTS, VIDEOS, and FREE LIVE TRAINING
We respect your privacy. We will never share your information.