4 New Year Dating Resolutions to Help You Finally Find Love with the Right Man (Check out the action questions to guide you)
Another new year is upon us. So for my savvy single ladies who like to set goals and have a guideline as to how to achieve them, this blog is going to help you set achievable goals. And I’ve also included tools you can implement in your dating approach that’ll help you create results!
I promise you this is not another “lose 20 pounds” resolution guide. ;-).
Here’s the deal: we all can go out there and find a man. That’s really not a problem. But what I know to be true for the ladies in my community is that you don’t just want a man: you want a man who is upstanding. He is emotionally available and, just like you, he’s ready to find love. You want a man who is kind and who appreciates effective communication and is responsible. To do that, you’ll need to make some changes in your dating approach to help you create the love life you want.
So we are going to do a Stop – Start challenge list here, and I’ll follow each challenge with a quality question to guide you. After all, the quality of our love life depends on the quality of the questions we ask.
It’s time to get your love life rocking in the new year. Ready? Okay, let’s go:
1. Stop bashing being single – Start embracing your status
Oftentimes I see single women fighting the singlehood so hard, as if it’s a disease or something to be ashamed or afraid of. Here’s a new perspective for a new year: Being single for monogamous women is the requirement to finding love. If you’re not single, you’re not available to find love. Now how about being single? How about loving it, and enjoying the fact that your life is like a blank canvas on which you can paint and create the love life YOU desire? And here’s another thought: once you find the man of your dreams, and it all works out, you will never be single again. So how about enjoying it and owning it every day as if it’s the last time you will be in this stage of your life? Because once you find love, you are no longer single. 🙂 And hint: No one is attracted to a desperate soul.
QUALITY QUESTIONS: What would it feel like for you to start embracing your single status? What would you do differently?
2. Stop living in the past – Start creating your love life
If I had a penny for every time I say, “You need to become intentionally baggage free when going on dates if you want to create your love life,” I’d be a millionaire by now! Ladies, no one – and I mean NO ONE – has ever created a love life that is amazing, out of this world, and filled with chemistry and connection based on living in her past. Now, I will tell you that many have created “a” love life, but not with the qualities I mentioned above. If you continue living from the vantage point of your past, you will without a doubt be creating a love life that is based on fear: always walking on eggshells, being controlling, making sure you don’t make mistakes, and of course never letting him do you wrong like your ex did, to name a few. Who wants that kind of relationship? Instead, take a blank piece of paper and do some deep soul searching.
QUALITY QUESTIONS: What is it that YOUR heart really wants if there were no limits out there? What does that love life look like if it was without fear and without self-protection and self-doubt?
3. Stop making excuses – Start creating possibilities
Practice saying “yes” more than coming up with excuses to say “no.” Go to events and social gatherings you would normally say no to. So say yes to dating opportunities you would normally reject. Don’t judge a man by his appearance and give both of you a chance to get to know each other. After all, research shows that relationships that were grown stronger over time rather than through instant chemistry are by far much more likely to last and continue to get stronger. So what if he’s not into opera or he’s not a hiker like you are? Look past that and see what you share on a deeper level. See what can you learn about each other.
QUALITY QUESTION: What do I need to do differently to create more possibilities in my love life?
4. Stop doing the same ol’ thing – Start doing something new (and perhaps radical)
We all know that doing the same ol’ thing and expecting a different result is the classic definition of insanity. Well, we don’t want that for you! So while it’s much easier to continue doing what we’re used to and staying in our cozy comfy condo of comfort zone… unless you choose to expand that comfort zone, things will remain the same. For example, this coming new year, why not revamp your dating profile by learning effective ways to do that so you can attract the right men for you? Don’t hesitate to contact a man online first if you like his profile. Just learn how to do that in a way that gets them pursuing you.
QUALITY QUESTION: What does expanding my comfort zone look like for me in my love life, and what is the smallest step I can take to stretch my current comfort zone?
Ladies, this is my formula for making big and effective changes:
After all, Rome was not built in a day, and you don’t need to all-of-a-sudden be someone else to create your love life. All you need to do is stretch your comfort zone one inch a day… and before you know it, your new dating approach will have invited someone special to your life.
Now if you wanna find out on a deeper level what you’re doing that could be sabotaging your love life, I have an amazing assessment that numerically tells you which of your behaviors is getting in the way of creating the love life you desire. All you need to do is get the Dating Success Assessment today, take it, and we will go over your results in your debrief session. This is Dating with Confidence’s “secret weapon”; it’s what all my clients use to figure out what is specifically getting in the way of creating their love lives so that they don’t spend another minute trying to figure what’s wrong and why things aren’t working… and instead they can spend their energy on what will get them what they want based on what they learned from their assessment results.
As always, I wanna hear from you. I wanna know the biggest insight you’re taking away from this blog. Leave a comment below. And if you enjoyed this blog, join Dating with Confidence’s FREE and PRIVATE Facebook group, “Dating Tips For Savvy Single Ladies,” where you can have more personal interaction with me and get support around your love life. And feel free to share this blog with your friends.
To your dating success!
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